Through my own observations of the hundreds of people I’ve met in my life, many, if not most people are structured to function in a certain way that surrounds the ambiguous shape of uncertainty and fate. I’ve grown to realize, and wholeheartedly believe, that there is only so much in life that occurs through ‘fate’ or ‘destiny’; things like the weather, or tragic circumstances or events, etc. We really are in control of the course of our lives, wether we like to believe it or not.
“This is important”, she says. “But why?”, they reply.
The mindset of an individual plays a massive role of how they will behave. When an individual believes that successful people are successful simply because they are “lucky” or because “it’s their destiny”, they ultimately place a subliminal limit on their own self-belief and self efficacy; “they are successful because they are lucky. I am not lucky so therefore I will never be successful like them”.
Do you see how wrong this is? Of course we have all been there – myself included. But having this belief can be quite self-destructive.
Who has the drivers seat in your life? Hint: it’s not fate.
Once you realise that you can change the course of your life is when you begin to really live and thrive. Once you begin to realise this, you open yourself to a domino effect of ongoing empowerment. You begin to awaken the sense of assertiveness you have over your life. Anyone who doesn’t feel assertive over their life, well, they tend to feel hopeless and ‘stuck’ in whatever situation they actually want to get out of. See the cycle? Yep – let’s change it!
What are the things in your life that you aren’t happy with? It might be your job, your pay, your living situation, your grades, or even the fact that you work excessively and don’t travel enough! Have a think about this – have a real good think.
Sit down and make a list of the things you would like to improve in your life.
Pondering and burdening yourself with excessive self-pity is good for no one (especially you!), so this is the first and simplest step to taking back the power in your life.
Allocate a priority number next to each thing you would like to improve.
This can be tricky, because often people find themselves overwhelmed with a bunch of things that they would like to change and have difficulty with finding where to start. My advice is to try to view your situation from an objective point of view – for example, should you work on “improving your wardrobe because the current one is not motivating you to feel great about yourself” or should you “ask for a pay rise or seek an extra part-time job because you are having difficulty affording your car insurance”. Assess your situation maturely (and if it’s too difficult, try asking a trusted family member or friend for some advice on where to start – get them to give a reason as well, so that you can consider their reasoning and judge it against your own).
And finally, get a head start on your first priority!
This is the part where you make a little plan that involves the who, why, what, when , and where. First ask yourself whether you can change the situation (i.e. if the rainy weather is getting you in a slump – be realistic about what you can do about it). Next, ask yourself who you need to contact (i.e. if you are seeking new employment, head over to a job-seekers website and start tabbing prospective employment opportunities). Then, check when you need to do this by (i.e. is there an application deadline?). Make a little plan and become active in your journey to driving your life in the direction you want it to go!
Key is to be consistent! Keep actively working on your goals (i.e. the things in your life you want to improve), and you will see change. Whether it’s in a day, a week, or even a year – you will see change as long as you are consistent with your assertive mindset over the course of your life!